


Buddie meta for season 3B

by matan4il



Series: Buddie meta [3]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: M/M, Meta
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:07:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28012143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matan4il/pseuds/matan4il
Summary: I was encouraged to post my meta to AO3 and while it's taking me a while, I hope to be able to do this before season 4 starts airing! Here are the meta posts for season 3B, one per each episode, all directed and originally posted on Tumblr after an episode had aired and before the next one did.If you like my meta and you're looking for more, check out theBuddie metaI had already posted to AO3, or my more completeBuddie meta tagon my Tumblr.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Buddie meta [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1713691
Comments: 38
Kudos: 77





	1. 311

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to [XJ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taxingninja/pseuds/taxingninja) for making the gifs for episode 311!
> 
> Originally posted on [my Tumblr](https://matan4il.tumblr.com/post/613394217990045696/buddie-911-meta) on March 23, 2020.

  
  


The airplane rescue that kicks off 311 once again forces me to shout about Buddie being battle boyfriends. That trope goes back to antiquity, when the couple fighting together as one on the battlefield were also understood to be intimately involved (it was only later generations’ homophobia that removed the sexual/romantic aspect of this trope while still preserving all others). So let’s appreciate the level of trust, nonverbal communication and ability to coordinate moves that was required from Buddie in order to rescue the guy. They’re not just co-workers, they truly are partners during these calls in a way that none of the others are. Add to that how some shots of during the ep are about them looking climatic AND AT EACH OTHER - AT THE SAME TIME - and Buddie could easily restore this tradition to its original meaning. 

  
  


When that lady asked whether they were single, it’s not that they looked at each other, it’s that they FIRST looked at each other. The way this comic scene is usually played out is they’d first look at her like she was crazy, then they’d look at each other IF they look at each other at all. But nope, not Buddie, they first and foremost have eyes for each other. This shifts the emphasis of this comic moment onto Buddie, especially since it’s not being played out with characters we know, care about or will ever see again. Even though the craziness of the mom is supposed to be the comic point, the way they did the scene actually puts all of the focus on Buddie and it’s not by chance that we’ve all taken note of it. 

  
  


When Maddie looks at Albert and talks about how surprising it is that he turned out as well as he did, she doesn’t start her sentence with “Albert,” making it clear who she’s talking about. She starts with a more ambiguous “he” while looking in his AND Buck’s direction. So until she makes it clearer, toward the end of what she says, we can only assum who “he” is, Albert or Buck since what she says could fit either. Don’t forget, we got confirmation in this ep that the Buckleys, while good people, were not good parents and Maddie even made a point that they did make mistakes with Buck, as they did with her. She looks very soft and loving, like she’s happy for Albert, but her gaze is also on her own brother happily playing with Eddie’s son. That the show gives us a second to wonder which one of the younger brothers she’s talking about is a gentle reminder that what she says about Albert is true for Buck as well. He too could have grown up to be all sorts of messed up, but is instead this amazing and kind soul, who has found his place in the world, his people, and in that moment is so clearly content in his own skin. In fact, Buck started out in s1 as a bit of a screw up, so this is a reminder of just how far he’s come and the path he managed to carve for himself. We can see this as an invitation to do what Chim and Maddie did there with Albert, to look at Buck and marvel at who he is and the life that he’s made for himself. 

  
  


Justin and Miles, oh wow. Once again, we have a same sex couple on a call. We don’t get that often enough, but in 2 out of 3 cases where we have, they stood out in how involved the show got us in their personal story. We got a whole lifetime together with Thomas and Mitchell in ep 208 and now, a whole “How I Met Your Daddy” condensed into one call. Also, that girl who helped them by reading out Justin’s love letter, Katie? I could easily draw parallels between Mustin and Buddie, and Katie and the fandom, she’s totally all of us, screaming at Buddie “kiss already” and willing to lend them her voice in order to make it happen (hello, tons of meta analysis and fics). Also, a request. Since we now have to confirmed cases of calls returning, can Mustin please be a repeated call, too? Maybe they have some sort of an emergency in the middle of their proposal... <3 

  
  


The whole domesticity vibe in an ep that wasn’t even about Buck or Eddie and in which we haven’t actually seen them so much as talking to each out is a wonder. We have it because they are so *together* at all times. Even when they’re across the room from each other in Eddie’s house, Eddie is still staring at Buck and Chris playing together while talking about the family we choose, a clear reflection of the way he smilingly stared at Buck and Chris playing together in 310 (to add to this, if they caught up with the Buddie fandom and were all like… “oh no, NO, you got this all wrong,” the mid-season break after 310 would have been the perfect place to change directions with Buddie. After all, the Xmas episode domesticity can be excused away. After all, 310 was about the holidays and that’s all about family and fluff, right? Yet, not only do they continue with this direction, they give us a clear visual repetition of Eddie’s gaze at his boys playing together). The way Buck not only feels he’s not a guest in Eddie’s, but he also expects Maddie to be aware of it and is bewildered she thought he would have to bring a gift when he comes there. I’ve had friends crashing on my couch for several months and while I loved them with my whole heart, it was still clear they were in *my* house and they *were* guests. It’s a big deal, to consider yourself as more than a guest in someone else’s house. When everyone’s eating together at the station, Buddie are automatically by each other’s side and Buck keeps giving Eddie meaningful looks while Albert and Eddie find a connection through sports. At the karaoke bar, they’re by each other, sharing laughs and non-verbal communication. It just automatically reminded me of that ep 208 line, “all we ever wanted was to go together.” Listen. LISTEN. These levels of domesticity for two “platonic” friends are truly out of this world.


	2. 312

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to [Cami](https://archiveofourown.org/users/camisarchive/profile) for making the gifs for episode 312!
> 
> Originally posted on [my Tumblr](https://matan4il.tumblr.com/post/613839314344968192/buddie-312-meta) on March 28, 2020.

  
  


The Poker scene is gorgeous because we have no one rejecting the idea of Buck and Josh being set up based on Buck’s supposed straightness. But why is it Buck and Josh who are there? Supposedly, because they’re Chim and Madney’s only single friends. Except, Eddie is their friend and is single, too. Could it be that maybe he was originally invited as well and couldn’t make it due to teachers night, implying these scenes are happening at the same time? Meaning, precisely when Maddie goes on about how painfully single Buck is, the person he should be fixed up with is out, meeting a new LI. Classic bad timing trope? If it is, it’s a parallel to ep 207, where we also get Buck embracing his single status while Eddie gets an LI. 

  
  


This is a minor one, but… have we noticed how the cute date where the texts-on-screen tell us love works “with the right person” cuts to the scene of Buddie talking and Buck being essentially Eddie’s rock and Chris’ co-parent? Cool, cool. 

  
  


In 311, we got no Buddie talking, yet we still had lots of Buddie content and family vibes (as I mentioned in my previous meta post). In 312, we actually get Eddie crushing on another woman, yet STILL we have a lot of Buddie content and family vibes. That’s quite unusual. This is the ep that introduces and is meant to establish a new LI, yet the last scene of the ep, the climatic one, the scene that gives the whole difficult issue Eddie had to face a happy ending, is of Buck, Eddie and Chris being a bright, shining family together. Remember, it’s not the new LI who makes things better. She’s ok with Chris failing and just accepting it (2nd time she lets Chris down after her failure to supervise him, Eddie was right to be upset with her and had nothing to apologize for). In contrast, it’s Buck who’s being the more sensible adult here, reminding Eddie not to go from one extreme to the other and that while Chris may not be able to do everything exactly how other kids do, there are adaptive ways for him to have the same experiences. Buck is the one who doesn’t give up on Chris and fights for him (subtly showing us how much better suited Buck is to be Eddie’s partner and Chris’ step parent). So unlike how LI’s are often introduced, this one doesn’t get to be a part of the last, climatic scene, that is meant to leave us wanting more of her and Eddie together. Instead, the climax is Buck being Eddie’s partner and leaving us wanting more of this little family unit. 

  
  


The ep’s first personal scene started with Maddie and Chim declaring that Buck is incredibly, tragically, embarrassingly single. Then in every other personal scene that involves Buck in 312, he is being the best husband and co-parent Eddie could ever wish for. He’s there to listen to and support Eddie, plus help Chris fulfill himself. The ep even climaxes on this! Not only are Madney wrong, this parallels ep 301 where they agreed Buck was the only one of their friends to not have a kid and then the show cuts to Buck being Christopher’s co-parent. It’s a constant theme: people underestimate how much of a family unit Buck has in Eddie and Chris. 

  
  


The ep ends with a song that accompanies a collage of love stories, some more successful (the app couple) than others (Josh, the shot woman). The song continues through the start of the park scene, connecting that last scene of the ep to the themed collage. In this last scene, we don’t know if Buck put together the adaptive skateboard himself or if he bought it, but either way, he made it happen. He’s also the one who helps Eddie push Chris on the adaptive skateboard, the two of them framing this kid with their bodies, a parallel with how they do the same thing when they catch Chris sliding down the fire pole in ep 204. Thing is, Eddie asked that if Chris wants to do new things, they would do them together. He’s able to come through on this idea regarding skateboarding thanks to Buck. And this whole climactic scene, as the connected montage reminds us, is about love. 

  
  


When the team is rescuing the lady on her date, Buck spews all this info on Eddie and his crush on the teacher. Usually moments like that are used to convey such info to the audience, but in this case, we already know all of it. So what it does, instead, is to make sure we know that Eddie fills Buck in on everything that goes on with him, including romantically. This is such a change from 210, where Eddie finally confided in Buck about what’s up with him romantically, with Shannon, but after a long time of keeping that to himself. This is a reminder of how far along their relationship has come, that now Buck is the first one to know everything about Eddie, including this aspect which he found it harder to open up on in the past. Then, this connects to the Buddie talk scene. In 309, we saw Buck and Eddie hanging out with Chris at Buck’s and talking. It gave the air of being a regular thing, but we couldn’t know for sure. Now, 312 cements that their nights hanging out together, in this case even without Chris, are a regular thing and this scene takes place after we know Buck is already aware of everything that happened with the crush and Chris falling off the teacher. Think about how regularly this means they must talk and hang out! And that scene with the talk really is amazing. The banter they still have going on, the vulnerability in Eddie admitting how bad he feels and that he lied to Chris, that maybe it was to himself, the way Buck is so there for Eddie, and for Chris, never giving up on him, and when Eddie doesn’t know how to help Chris, Buck has this reaction that lets us know - he’ll find a way! It all warms my heart. 

**LIFE PARTNERS!** <3


	3. 313

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to [Cami](https://archiveofourown.org/users/camisarchive/profile) for making the gifs for episode 313!
> 
> Originally posted on [my Tumblr](https://matan4il.tumblr.com/post/614573256460091392/buddie-313-meta) on April 5, 2020.

  
  


While this ep wasn’t Buddie heavy, it did give us some gold nuggets. The tiny thing I’ll start off with is the synchronized banging on the ambulance door. What was that, boys? One of you was enough. Did you do this on purpose to give gif makers more fodder for ‘synchronized boyfriends’ gifsets? Well, thank you, it was very considerate of you. 

  
  


And then we have the boys’ usual shenanigans. We get banter when Eddie teases Buck over using the right term for an exoskeleton and Buck thanks Bobby, but directs it at Eddie, as in, “see? That’s how you should be praising me”. We also get Eddie asking Buck out to eat together (and this is after he told Chim to follow his feelings). Except, remember Eddie could have asked the whole gang out and he only asked Buck. Not only that, right after he does, we get Chimney having an experience that makes him wanna call Maddie up and ask her on a ‘real date’… to dinner. Which connects with my next point... 

  
  


We have Albert mistaking a romantic couple, Maddie and Chim, for friends and then the two brothers argue about what Madney mean to each other. Tell me that this is not the argument we keep having over Buddie? So the show tells us two people deeply in love with each other CAN be mistaken by an outsider for platonic friends. It’s not the only Buddie and Madney parallel in this ep. Add to this Chimney setting up a dinner date right after Eddie was asking Buck out to eat and that Madney saved a life together, a first for them and def a bonding experience, but let’s not forget how many times this is exactly how Buddie worked together. Battle boyfriends! And lastly, consider how in the past, the show has already given us a parallel between Madney and Buddie. Maddie and Chim still saw themselves as friends, didn’t dare share their feelings with each other, but did everything together like a dating couple would without the dating (and Buck was of course the one to point it out), which has been true for Buddie as well, for a while now they’ve been basically a married couple with a kid without actually being married. All of these parallels, they may not promise us canon Buddie, but they certainly make a strong case for why it’s just as valid to see them as potential romantic partners at some point, once they recognize their own feelings and share them with each other, like Madney did. 

  
  



	4. 315

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to [Cami](https://archiveofourown.org/users/camisarchive/profile) for making the gifs for episode 315!
> 
> Originally posted on [my Tumblr](https://matan4il.tumblr.com/post/616475804835168256/buddie-315-meta) on April 26, 2020.

  
  


The overall theme of the ep is Eddie’s journey into fatherhood. I just wanna take a second to acknowledge how the seemingly happy start actually isn’t quite that. Yes, Eddie’s thrilled over his son’s birth and doesn’t yet know the challenges it will bring, yet he still hesitates to cut the umbilical cord. There’s something in him from the start that hesitates with whether he can rise to the challenge. And let’s give him credit, he is there when his dad wasn’t for his own kids, Eddie’s already trying to be better than Ramon was. Another thing is that Shannon and Eddie still love each other and are not yet broken, but the cracks are already there, because we later learn that by the time the birth happens, Eddie has already enlisted without telling her about it. He’s trying to be a good dad in the ways that he can, but he really isn’t prepared for fatherhood: we’ll later discover that Eddie is operating without any proper role models, certainly not in his dad (we already had an inkling of this from what he said about Ramon’s upbringing in 301), but not from his mom either, who will later also prove to have so very little compassion for her own son’s struggles as a dad. These are the people who will later think that when Chris has an absent mom, the best thing is to separate him from his dad, their son, as well. So this seemingly sunny beginning actually has a lot of clouds gathering over it, even though many will only fully unfold later. And when things will start falling apart, of course so will Eddie. The amazing thing about him is his ability - despite his unfortunate starting point and the obstacles that keep getting in his way - to eventually figure out how to be the good father he’s wanted to be all along. 

  
* * *

OK, but Buck is so cute? When they’re doing the radios test, he’s so happy about Chris arriving at the station that he forgets to announce it into the radio, while focusing on Chris and grinning like a madman. Proud papa! <3 When Bobby berates him, he gets all nervous, but then Eddie shows up next to the Captain and bam, it’s back to grinning Buck. Nobody tell me this boy isn’t smitten with his family. Especially when he doesn’t *have* to be there for Eddie’s talk with Chris and Carla, but of course he comes over. He gets all flirty over the medal (“I would never take it off”, I love that heroic Eddie is a turn on for him), concerned about how the presentation would go in class and is all hearteyes when Eddie says yes to Chris. This is just so soft and domestic, y’all. 

  


* * * 

Can we take a sec to appreciate the dumbasses that are Buddie, who both volunteer throughout the ep for any risky rescue without thinking of their own safety? It’s a part of why they get each other and don’t blame each other when they keep putting themselves in harm’s way. First it’s Eddie, who is probably not as good a candidate as Chim, but he still volunteers to go save Hayden. Then it’s Buck, because of course it would be Buck to try and save Eddie. What else was this idiot in love gonna do, let someone else rescue his husband? And in between, as more obstacles were popping up for Eddie’s rescue of Hayden, Buck expressed support for it going ahead, twice. It’s that he wanted to save the kid, sure, but it was also because he has so much faith in Eddie, that he can save Hayden despite everything, no matter how difficult the situation may seem. They’re just both so on the same wavelength when it comes to this, it warms my heart. 

  
* * *

When the mud collapses over Eddie still down there, after Hayden is out, you really don’t need me to tell you that the reaction from Buck is pure hysteria, it’s above and beyond what’s expected from a friend and he’s the only one there reacting like this, though presumably he’s not Eddie’s only friend there. Would we see Chim screaming Bobby’s or Hen’s name like that or clawing frantically in the mud after them when he knows logically that wouldn’t help? But compare that to what Chim’s reaction would be like if it were Maddie down there: then it would probably be exactly like Buck’s. 

So let’s list everything about this reaction that surpasses the scope of normal friendship: Buck screams Eddie’s name out repeatedly and desperately, he jumps at the spot where he had last seen Eddie alive and well, he starts digging in the mud madly, he has to be forcibly dragged off by Bobby and then he collapses in his Captain’s arms, sobbing his heart out (later, when Eddie re-appears, Buck will also be the first one to run to him and hold him, even though he wasn’t the one closest to him). Let’s not even start on the parallels between this moment and the tsunami eps, when Buck was desperate to find and save Chris, when he was calling his name hysterically and when he eventually collapsed (definitely let’s not talk about how in both cases, the story ends with a collapse rather than a hug, because we all know that hug would be too intense for our TV screens). 

But now, can we also consider everyone’s reaction to this? Buck is reacting in the extreme to possibly losing Eddie, unlike anyone else there, and yet not one person from the team is saying it’s weird. There’s a general sense of an unspoken, “yeah, this is how much Eddie means to Buck, so of course he’s going to react this way,” which I cannot get over. They’re even sortof consoling him. And also think about how Hen refutes Buck’s request to go save Eddie instead of letting Chim do it. She doesn’t say that Chim is better suited in terms of size, she states that if Buck goes down there, he would totally cut off the line rather than be pulled back up without Eddie. I repeat what she’s saying: Buck would choose to die down there with Eddie rather than come back without him. And they ALL know it. Including Buck, who can’t argue with her, even though he’s annoyed because he wants to since he’d still prefer to be the one going down there. But they all know this is what Buck would do and that in Chim’s case, he wouldn’t, so he can be sent down. They all accept this about Buck, they don’t try to fight or change it, they just know he can’t be the one to go down there, because Eddie simply means too much to him. After Buck collapses sobbing, we see him on his feet again in order to push for them to do something, even when Bobby says they can’t. Buck is angry when he so much as suspects that the team thinks Eddie is dead. So just take in that this is how Buck collapsed at the mere thought Eddie *might* die down there, not even that he *is* dead. Imagine how he would have lost it if it would have been a done deal. Y’all, the show just gave us the dictionary definition for a man epicly in love. 

  
* * *

Twice during this ep Eddie is asked about wearing his medal and twice he deflects by using sarcasm. Same thing happens when he reunites with the 118, he uses humor instead of being too emotional about how much having survived and being back with them means (saying they’ll have a hard time finding him using heat detection because he’s pretty cold and that he “got a date on Friday”, referring to Chris’ show and tell at school instead of saying “I will always fight to come back to my family”). I think it’s really important to note here that this is his coping mechanism, he defuses things that are emotionally charged for him in this way. Now just think about scenes like the kitchen one in 309. Buck is profusely apologizing and Eddie, when he realizes Buck means it and won’t let go, he resorts to sarcasm. It tells you just how much it really means to him, that it gets him emotional, so he has to use humor. I think in a sense, all of those little moments of sarcastic quips at Buck, they’re not just friendly (and flirty) banter, they’re also a way to defuse and try to handle just how much Buck really means to Eddie. 

  
* * *

The second theme in this ep: when Eddie starts telling the story of how he won his medal, he begins with, “I was trying to get a wounded soldier back home to his family,” but by the end of that mission, he’s going to be exactly that, a wounded soldier trying to get back to his family. And by the end of the ep, he’ll be that again, having to rescue himself from where he would have been buried underground, fighting when he’s hurt through dirt and water in order to get back to his new family. Those are Eddie’s two journeys that the ep is all about: the first is towards embracing fatherhood and that one reached its most critical moments before Eddie had joined the 118. The other is his journey towards embracing his new family, the one that he now, in the present, knows he has and that he will always fight to get back to. Who is this new family? We see that in the collage that plays out as Eddie is fighting to stay conscious underwater, to keep swimming: it starts with, of all things, Buck’s voice. First, his voice speaking with the engineer and mentions the tunnels that are Eddie’s salvation, then as the memories begin to roll, in the very first one, we hear him asking Eddie about Chris. The montage plays out a lot of different scenes, stating explicitly that the 118 is Eddie’s new family, but really, most of the scenes are of Eddie, Buck and Chris, whether on their own (like when they’re playing video games at Buck’s) or when surrounded by the team (like when Eddie has his end of probation celebration, the 118 are all there, but we see him hugging Chris and looking over at Buck), so out of the whole team, Buck is uniquely central in this montage. In fact, he’s featured in it more than Shannon is. When she appears, it’s mostly related to her death, a reminder that Chris had already lost one parent, he can’t lose another. Buck is also the only one we see hugging Eddie without it being related to Shannon’s death. And even in some scenes without Buck, his presence is still there, like when we see Eddie carrying Chris on his back, running down the school’s corridor and even though we don’t see it, as viewers we know that they’re going to the car in which Buck is waiting, looking at them adoringly, about to meet Chris for the first time. Yes, Eddie’s new family is the 118, but the core of it is him, Chris and Buck. <3


	5. 316

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to [Cami](https://archiveofourown.org/users/camisarchive/profile) for making the gifs for episode 316!
> 
> Originally posted on [my Tumblr](https://matan4il.tumblr.com/post/617106219730157568/buddie-316-meta) on May 3, 2020.

  
  


I’ve talked about this before, but I will seriously never be over Eddie and Buck as battlefield boyfriends (with all of that trope’s glorious homoerotic tradition), which is how the episode starts. They’re a team through and through and it’s a kind of commitment and care and intimate knowledge and understanding of each other that I adore Buddie having. That’s how we get them looking through the burning building’s hallways together at the start and that moment of Eddie saying, “you wanna do a rope rescue? Of course you do.” An exasperated husband who knows his partner so well, it’s so domestic, but then he also doesn’t discourage it, just… “yep, that’s my husband, the rope rescue loving idiot!” (which Eddie is as well, so we know he actually gets it). Honestly, Bobby didn’t even have to tell Eddie that he’s going with Buck, it was a given. Of course Eddie will jump over the gap between the buildings’ rooftops onto a burning building whose roof might collapse any minute now to have his hubby’s plan executed and be there for him. He always will be, maybe with a bit of fond eyerolling, but at the end of the day, he’ll always have Buck’s back. 

  
* * *

When Buck invites everyone to party, Eddie’s the first one to respond with that he can’t. Why? From a storytelling perspective, because that’s who the show knows would be the first one there, to celebrate with Buck. So that’s the most meaningful ‘no’, especially when we know how much Eddie and Buck hang out together outside of work anyway. But then, notice Eddie doesn’t reject Buck’s invite because he doesn’t want to or doesn’t care. Nor does he ditch Buck in favor of a romantic partner, like the rest will after he leaves. No, Chris needs Eddie and as a dad, he will always have to put his son first. Yet, he counter-invites Buck. Sure, it’s done jokingly, because he’s sure Buck wouldn’t be interested in trading a night out celebrating at a bar with friends for a sleepover with a bunch of 9 year olds (and he’s right), but he still does it. And Buck, taking his lead from him while also thinking the rest will still join him at the bar, says no with another bit of banter. But this is in part their issue, right here. Because everyone else ends up not being able to come along. And if Buddie could have had that same exchange only without the joking, maybe Eddie would tell him that he actually would for real love to have Buck there, a bunch of kids sleeping over or not. And Buck would be reminded that he’s wanted in the Diaz household, always, he might have felt less alone. But there’s a lot of communication that’s still getting lost between these two and needs resolution. Thing is that even in this scene which is about *everyone* in the 118 rejecting Buck’s celebration, Eddie’s no is still first among them in its importance to Buck and different in its dynamic. I’m here for ALL the subtle reminders of Buddie’s special connection, no matter how small. 

  
* * *

Let’s take a second to talk about how the show emphasized the importance of having a romantic partner in this episode. I have to admit, it was a bit cringeworthy to me. I don’t like this idea that if you don’t have a spouse, your life is somehow emptier. I get that the show did this in order to bring up Abby, in preparation of her return in the next ep, but it’s absolutely untrue and unfair to all the people out there who have made the choice to be alone rather than, for example, be with the wrong person and who find a lot of self fulfillment in their life and in their choices. That’s not just valid, it’s important. But then the show redeems itself to a degree by having Buck’s resolution play out as it did: Maddie reminds him not that he will at some point be in a romantic relationship again, she reminds him that he will always have her. That while she sometimes had to leave, she never really left him behind. She always took him with her and that’s why she came back to Buck. So he will never be alone thanks to the power of sibling love. And that is beautiful. That doesn’t resolve everything for Buck, obviously. I usually analyze in these posts what we’ve already seen and try not to make predictions for the future, but in this case, I will. I think things with the 118, maybe most especially with Eddie, remain unresolved and it’s again a set up for the 317/8 finale, so they can be resolved then. If you were content with this ep, great! But if its ending doesn’t feel like enough, I hope you can find comfort in how the show did good with at least valuing the bond between siblings and in how we’re probably going to see these issues revisited, addressed and then resolved in a much more satisfying way next week. 

  
* * *  


I just wanna take a small second and give a shout out to Buck’s growth over the seasons. When everyone else leaves him, he still goes to the bar alone, but whereas in s1, he would have hooked up with a random girl and had meaningless sex to forget his trouble, now he spends his night talking to an old man and finding meaning in this interaction and caring about someone who was a complete stranger at first, but by the end of the ep, Buck has practically adopted him. Especially in light of Abby coming back and how scared Buck was to let go of her because he might revert to Buck 1.0 without her, I stan seeing how far he’s come. 

  
* * *

When Buck tries to tell the team about Red and his own fear that the same thing might happen to the 118 and he’s looking for reassurance that it won’t, the first person he looks at is Eddie, stressing the words “to us” while he does. It echoes the way Eddie asked him in 306, “did you ever stop for a minute to think what that could do… to us?” (both emphasizing ‘to us’ to each other), a nod to how a lot of times these two talk about the team, but on some level, they’re referring to each other just as much, if not even more. And Eddie is quick to return Buck’s gaze and tell him that his fears will never be realized, Eddie even stares at him while Buck is looking away and uses Buck’s own fearful words, reflecting them back to him in a more positive way (hi, mirroring boyfriends). They’re constantly framed together by the camera throughout this whole conversation. And while the others say contradicting things, Eddie is the only one who’s only ever reassuring, while the others look to him to find a way to help Buck. It’s a small thing, but it gives me all the Buddie feels in this scene. The team remaining a family is important to Buddie, but we’re wordlessly and repeatedly shown that it’s especially important to them in the context of each other, it’s a running theme that I very much appreciate. 

  


* * * 

Since I mentioned ep 306, Buddie post lawsuit, I have to say that also happened to be the only other time when Buck clearly states to another person (until this ep and his talk with Maddie) that sometimes he feels like he gets left behind. In trying to explain to Eddie his decision to go ahead with the lawsuit despite possible repercussions, Buck said it felt like they were moving on without him. Different words, same sentiment and once more, we have Buck confiding in Eddie more than in any other person. It took months for him to be able to verbalize this to Maddie and so far, his sister and Eddie are still the only two people he explicitly has done this with. I think about the level of trust and care that Buck must feel when it comes to Eddie that allowed him to do that (and yes, fear of losing him, too) and it makes me glad that they have that. That Buck could speak to him like that. And again, I mentioned this in my post about what Eddie does for Buck, how Eddie understood right away Buck’s hurt and sense of abandonment and he came back to Buck immediately by putting away all of his anger because Buck needed him to and that feels even more significant after 316 and I’m crying, kthnxbi.

* * * 

Buck mentions to Maddie how painful it is to have someone that you love so much look at you and not see you. And I’m just over here, wondering to myself if it isn’t in a sense what’s going on with Buddie. They love each other and they look at each other, constantly, but there’s a part of each other they don’t see yet. Which is maybe why they’re so oblivious to their own feelings right now, a protection mechanism from that pain of not being seen, not completely, by someone who matters so much. IDK if the show will let them become canon, but if it will, just imagine the moment when they get to see each other fully… I swear, I will cry forever. 


	6. 317

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to [Cami](https://archiveofourown.org/users/camisarchive/profile) for making the gifs for episode 317!
> 
> Originally posted on [my Tumblr](https://matan4il.tumblr.com/post/617473410088517632/buddie-317-meta) on May 7, 2020.

  


The hot air balloon starts us off with a metaphor for emotional turmoil, those times when we feel we have no power, no control over a situation. The very use of a hot air balloon throws us back to Buck’s date with Abby in ep 109 which never came to be. We also get a hint of her when he mentions these only look romantic, but they can actually be really dangerous. Buck doesn’t say it aloud, but it’s clear he learned this fact from Abby. I find it interesting that the person Buck refuses to name her to is Eddie, who already looks a bit suspicious at what Buck said. And hey, the episode is even framed with her: we start with this call which contains a callback to Abby (after we already had reminders of her in 316) and we end it, after what at first seems like a concluding montage, with Abby herself calling 911. So, I feel the hot air balloon call can be seen as a metaphor for Buck’s relationship with her. It looked good on the surface, but it ended up being more dangerous than he realized it would be, wounding him deeply. And specifically, this call, like the whole theme of the ep, is about being without control, which is exactly what happened to Buck at the end with Abby. He desperately wanted to be with her, refused a breakup with her when she wanted to end things because she was about to leave, he was willing to wait for her, overlook her implication she might sleep with other people while away (the “eat, pray, love” reference he mentions to Maddie in 201) and despite all of that, he was powerless to stop that relationship from ending. But in this call, he gets to be the one who jumps into the hot air balloon and land it, bring it back to safety. By the end of 318, hopefully our boy will get the same closure for his relationship with Abby. 

  


* * * 

Which connects with Bobby and Athena, actually. He had to listen live to his wife possibly getting killed, if that isn’t a parallel to how Buck had to possibly watch Eddie get buried forever in 315, IDK what is. But then when they’re looking for a medic for the rapist, Bobby says, “he can wait”. This reminded me of Buck, willing to let the teenager who tried to kill her own baby wait for another ambulance in 101, which the show presented as the wrong decision, one of those moments when emotions overtake you and cloud your professional duty as a firefighter. Athena was the one to correct Buck, but Athena is badly hurt in 317 and Bobby lets his emotions get to him. My guess is that in 318, we’ll see a somewhat similar decision that Buck will have to make between emotions and professional duty, once more coming full circle. 

  
* * *

Oooh, Michael and elevator guy (Dr. Hale according to IMDB) had this lovely little meet cute and I stan! Yes, show! Give the queers all the meet cutes! We saw Mitchell and Thomas’ meeting in 208, we had Justin and Miles in 311, now Michael and the hot doctor and I’m here for it! I just wanted to happily scream about the show giving us these cute moments and together with Hen and Karen, good queer rep. It’s not a given and deserves to be appreciated! (and it does give me hope for eventual canon Buddie…) 

  
* * *

Small thing, but when Hen is lying to Karen and telling her basically, she couldn’t invite her wife to Chim’s bday celebration, she excuses it by saying she couldn’t because then Chim would invite his significant other, Maddie. Who would invite her brother and it just goes without needing an explanation that Buck would invite Eddie. Then Bobby AND Athena are thrown in for good measure. Everyone other than Buddie is expected in this scenario to invite either family or their romantic partner, not colleagues or friends. Hen automatically assuming (and Karen accepting) that Buck in this case would invite Eddie is closer to how you look at a romantic couple who are in your social circle than how you see two friends. This is basically another instance when the team naturally treat Buddie as if they were together. So how are we expected to view them differently? 

  
* * *

Speaking of Hen and Karen, this episode treated it somewhat comically, but it brought back what it means to have your trust in your partner broken. That it doesn’t quite go away. And maybe a strong couple can move beyond that, as these two did, but there are always scars left behind, the ability to trust that needs to be healed. It made me think of Buck and how Abby broke his trust in the way she wanted to break things off in 110 and then ghosted him for a long time after that instead of just being clear cut with him. The amazing thing to me is that Buck has rebuilt this trust, he’s been doing that with Eddie. And maybe the fact that they first build this trust as friends and not as possible romantic partners is exactly crucial to Buck’s ability to rebuild that kind of trust with anyone. Since they get to have that trust in each other, sometimes even more than some romantic partners have in each other, they have something that’s truly solid. And now that they have the foundation for it, this friendship can blossom into romance. After all, aren’t the best lovers friends first? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like my meta, please don't hesitate to show it with a kudos! Also, you're welcome to check out more of it and my fics, all of which you can find on my [content masterlist](https://matan4il.tumblr.com/ml_main). Or just come say hi at [my Tumblr](https://matan4il.tumblr.com/)! :D


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